the impact of in-laws within a marriage and during a divorce

The impact of "In-laws" is horrendous on a relationship, be it a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship or a marriage. If the In-laws are positive people, they may play a very nice role in bringing the couple together when they have problems or differences. On the other hand, if the In-laws are negative people, they may very well play a major role in bringing about the debacle (downfall) of the couple. Such was my experience with my ex.

Unfortunately, my ex's family are not only very negative people, but also very mean!
Needless to say that this did not help at all when my ex and I started to have our differences. Sadly, my ex's in-laws are such unreasonable people that they never thought of our children and what's in their best interest! I believe that this, in and of itself, speaks of the types of people they are.

This is not to relieve my ex from the lion's share of selfishness and mistakes! In fact, in listening to one's family members, one has already made a decision to "go" with what they are going to say to a certain degree. All parties involved, starting with the parents of the children, and all in-laws should understand that the well being of the children is of utmost importance, and that there is no room for vendettas in case of divorces.

One of the most important signs or flags to look for is rivalry between your in-laws and you. Sometimes it is initiated by one party or the other, or by a combination thereof. Usually this rivalry is negative in nature and fosters hard feelings which will, in turn, cause tension with the in-laws. This would add a lot of stress on the married couple, as they try to be loyal to their family members as well as to their spouse at the same time!

Clearly this is a very difficult situation for the couple. They both end up feeling torn between in the involved parties. Rivalry with the in-laws is usually not a healthy thing. I remember, that my in-laws were competing with me about every single aspect of which you can think. This was a sign of future problems!

As long as you and your spouse love each other, you will be strong in the face of the storms!
However, as soon as the relationship between the two of you weakens, the impact of the in-laws grows stronger, and their interference will eventually win out.

At first, some of the competition may seem fair to you whether it's about a game, a sport, or a discussion. Nevertheless, there is usually a reason that lies under this rivalry. In essence, your in-laws might be jealous of your achievements be they academic or athletic, etc...

This jealousy becomes the nucleus of future enemies who, when given the opportunity, will, like eagles, swoop down on their prey. So be vigilant!

I understand that we all love our families, i.e. our mom, dad, brothers, sisters, etc...However, this does not mean that, when we get married, we should let them dictate to us how we should behave with our spouses. Unfortunately, it seems almost impossible to keep family members from interfering.

If you want your marriage to be a successful one, make sure to reduce the interference from your family members into your marriage. The husband and the wife have to learn to separate the two. They have to explain to their respective family members that not letting them interfere does not mean that they do not love them!

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(saran). Submitted on Fri, 20 Jan 2012 Time: 3:01 PM

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